For the past 35 years, I've wanted to look up the lyrics of a song that was popular in 1985. It was a song by the band Mr. Mister. I wasn't so interested in the song that I ever embarked on the search, but each time I heard it, I thought to myself, "I really need to figure out those lyrics." The song chorus included lyrics that sounded like 'Carry a Laser'. I knew that could not have been the actual lyrics yet I couldn't imagine what they were. The thing that deterred me from my search is that I didn't know what song lyrics to search for on the Internet. Then I thought, "Well, if I think that is how it sounds, others probably think the same." So I searched on the lyrics, "Carry a Laser" and when I saw the result, it began with "Misheard lyrics..." and I felt a sense of relief. I knew victory was close at hand.
The lyric I thought was 'Carry a Laser' was actually 'Kyrie Elieson'. I assumed immediately that the guy was singing about a love interest. And not only was he singing her first name, Kyrie, which is an admittedly unusual name...but he also included her last name, Elieson, which was even more unusual. Not since Tommy Tutone gave out Jenny's phone number as 867-5309 had a woman's privacy been so totally violated by a pop song.
I began to wonder if Kyrie Eleison had entered a witness protection program or perhaps taken on the surname of her husband to escape the non-stop scrutiny of being a subject of a pop song. Being the subject of a popular song has to be a heavy load. Here are some of the lyrics which you may recognize:
Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going, will you follow?
Kyrie Eleison
On a highway in the light ....
Wow, this guy really has it bad for that woman named Kyrie, I surmised.
I was listening to it the other night from a YouTube video on my earbuds. It was playing loudly enough that Terri asked me what I was listening to and so I unplugged my earbuds and let her listen to it. She knew immediately that the song's title wasn't 'Carry a Laser', but 'Kyrie Eleison'. She even knew how to spell it! Then she said she had sung a different song that included the lyrics Kyrie Eleison in grade school as a choir girl and she knew that 'Kyrie Elieson' translated to 'Lord have Mercy'.
I've known Terri for 44 years. We've been married for 35 years. I had absolutely no idea she knew that! It's nice when your spouse can still surprise you after 44 years.
And, by the way, Kyrie Eleison is Greek for 'Lord have Mercy' and the song was released the same year we were married. Coincidence? Perhaps not ;-)
In 1985 telling someone to 'Carry a Laser' might have sounded like telling them to keep their light saber with them at all times, but in 2020, it's not so absurd. When I was teaching in the classroom, I never left home without my slide clicker, which has its own laser pointer built right into it. When I use that laser to make a point by highlighting a portion of my slide, my students become like curious cats, unable to take their attention off of that small red dot. Who needs a light saber, when you can actually carry a laser? 
